HOW DO YOU HELP #2

I've learned way more from the comments to my blog than any reader has learned from my blogs, to be sure.  Usually I don't comment on comments in order to keep myself from getting embroiled in endless argument circles.

                  But after the post on Friday and seeing the comments, I realized this one needs a bit more fleshing out.  I try to keep all my posts within a less-than-5-minute read; that means sometimes nuances get missed in the cryptic post. 

                  I don't think for a minute the inability to listen before telling is uniquely American; or even Western, for that matter.  I think it's human nature.  However, wealth does create an inordinate capacity to help. Because of that, wealth puts a greater burden on the philanthropist because the aid can be extremely detrimental.  This is the burden of helping.                  

                  The Apostle Paul went to Macedonia because, in his vision, they asked him to come.  My brother, who served in New Tribes Mission in Indonesia for many years, said the mission had a policy of only going to tribes that asked them to come.  Help is a two way street.  You can't help when someone spurns your help.  Or when you refuse to ask what people need. 

                  For example, another story Pete Turner told in this podcast I guested on was how an Iraqi governor begged the military to quit giving stuff to the farmers because it created fights.  He said all his governing time suddenly was taken up by feuding farmers who accused beneficiaries of American infrastructure of being unfairly enriched.  He begged to be the one to dispense the goods because he knew who the workers were who could leverage things and who the lazies were who wouldn't use it.  And a tractor?  Terrible--people kill over that. When he wrote his report to change the help conduit to the governor, he said his American superiors spat on the idea because an Iraqi would be the one making decisions.   I know enough about these kinds of things to know, too, how much governors in these situations hoard and then sell gifts like this.

                  Incumbent on helpers is the responsibility to invest enough in the situation to know what is helpful.  Giving advice or even gifts can be liberating if done with all parties mutually respected, heard, humble, and seeking.  I'm certainly deeply appreciative of gifts I've been given, but the best ones came AFTER the giver asked "would this help you?"

                  For the record, this discussion is not about conflict and war.  This is about how a person or nation shows itself friendly.  Most of the time, the friendliest thing you can do is let people mind their own business by keeping your nose out of their affairs.  Period. 

                  But sometimes we have expertise, tools, or money that can help and we should be big hearted to offer, but only within mutually agreeable terms.  I was speaking at a conference a few years back and sat down at a banquet table next to a guy who loudly announced:  "I hate Christians."  Seated next to him, I didn't argue.  I simply asked why.  He had just returned from a month of filming work in Africa and he explained that missionaries consistently brought containers of clothes to the impoverished tribal people.

                  All this free material displaced local and indigenous business people, who then turned their entrepreneurial spirit into being warlords.  They just changed their business from positive to extortion.  This is the problem with government subsidies, welfare, Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security, public education, subsidized universities, housing, student loans--the whole nanny state paradigm that assumes people are too stupid to take care of themselves.  By taking responsibility away from people, you make them irresponsible.

                  Even Jesus asked the blind beggar:  "what would you like me to do?"  It seemed obvious, but Jesus waited for the answer:  "to make me see."  On our own farm team, we've learned not to assume what someone wants for help.  Some people like me don't want to make a lot of money.  We have other objectives. I'd be happy for half pay if government bureaucrats would quit meddling in everything I'd like to do.  You can't pee without permission.  But that's another rant for another day.  All the bureaucrats assume without their help we'd all be poisoned, poor, or pathetic.

                  One other issue here:  help cannot be financed by violence or extortion.  That means taxes can never be the financial source of credible help.  Ever.  Honest help cannot be financed by coercion; it must be independent voluntary charity.

                  Who or what helped you in a time of need that honors credible help criteria--mutual consent and no coercion from others?